What are the benefits of sensory calibration for coaching and mentoring? That is a great question to ask.
As a coach or mentor, you want to establish rapport, trust, and understanding with your clients or mentees. One way to do that is to use sensory calibration, a technique from neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) that helps you read and match the non-verbal cues of others. In this article, you will learn what sensory calibration is, how it can improve your communication and influence, and some practical exercises to practice it.
What is sensory calibration?
Sensory calibration is the ability to notice and respond to the subtle changes in someone’s voice, body language, eye movements, breathing, and facial expressions. These cues can reveal a lot about their emotional state, preferences, beliefs, and motivations. By calibrating to them, you can adjust your own verbal and non-verbal communication to match their sensory mode, pace, and style. This creates a sense of alignment, empathy, and rapport.
Personal Illustration: Here is a brief example of how you might experience this. If you are working with a client and you notice they suddenly take in a large breath – or maybe let out a long sigh. Something has changed in their physiology and at this point you might ask them ‘I noticed you took a large breath in just now – what did you notice as you were doing that?’ Or ‘You have just let out a long sigh – what do you think what was behind that?’
Why is sensory calibration important for coaching and mentoring?
Sensory calibration can help you as a coach or mentor in several ways. First, it can help you build trust and rapport with your clients or mentees, which is essential for creating a safe and supportive environment for them to explore their goals, challenges, and solutions. Second, it can help you understand their perspective, needs, and values better, which can help you ask more relevant and powerful questions, provide more effective feedback, and offer more suitable suggestions. Third, it can help you influence their behaviour and mindset more positively, by using the language and gestures that resonate with them and by subtly leading them to more resourceful states.
Personal Illustration: Another way of recognising how important sensory calibration is to our work as coaches and mentors is that it gives us insight into our client’s map of the world. Our client’s view of the world. This gives you incredible insight, data and awareness as a coach and mentor to start to support your client to find their way through.
How to calibrate to someone’s sensory mode?
One aspect of sensory calibration is to identify and match someone’s sensory mode, or the way they process and represent information. NLP identifies three main sensory modes: visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic. Visual people tend to use words and expressions related to sight, such as “I see what you mean”, “That looks good”, or “Let’s focus on the big picture”. Auditory people tend to use words and expressions related to sound, such as “I hear you”, “That sounds right”, or “Let’s tune in to the details”. Kinaesthetic people tend to use words and expressions related to touch, movement, and emotion, such as “I feel you”, “That feels right”, or “Let’s get in touch with our feelings”. To calibrate to someone’s sensory mode, you can use the same or similar words and expressions as they do, as well as mirror their tone of voice, volume, and speed
Personal Illustration: I find the discovery part of the Client conversation really brings this to life. Clients share their preferences early on. Our role is to be building muscle in ‘how we listen’ and ‘what we listening for’. A recent client of mine said, “I am hearing what I am saying – but I need to draw a map so I can see it in practice”. This Client has good self-awareness and knows what they need. Drawing on ICF Competency No.7 ‘Evokes Awareness’, I was able to support this Client as they recognised their preference. Future co-partnering expanded this awareness and they explored how they could communicate more effectively with their team, drawing on this preference.
How to calibrate to someone’s eye movements?
Another aspect of sensory calibration is to observe and follow someone’s eye movements, which can indicate what kind of information they are accessing or creating in their mind. NLP proposes a model of eye movements based on the direction and angle of the eyes. For example, when someone looks up and to the left, they are accessing or constructing a visual image from memory. When they look up and to the right, they are accessing or constructing a visual image from imagination. When they look to the left at eye level, they are accessing or constructing an auditory sound from memory. When they look to the right at eye level, they are accessing or constructing an auditory sound from imagination. When they look down and to the left, they are accessing or constructing an internal dialogue. When they look down and to the right, they are accessing or constructing a kinaesthetic feeling or sensation. To calibrate to someone’s eye movements, you can follow their gaze with your own eyes, as well as ask questions or make comments that match the type of information they are accessing or creating.
Personal Illustration: There are some challenges with calibrating eye movements as we are not all wired the same way! Some individuals calibrate in the exact opposite way to others. In the past, this is where people have got stuck. For example, it was believed that if you looked up and to the right you were lying. But if you looked up and to the left you were telling the truth. Firstly, I am not sure it is that clear cut but also, we can be wired in the opposite way. Hold this approach to calibration with wisdom and draw on other visual messages to create a whole picture.
How to calibrate to someone’s breathing and posture?
A third aspect of sensory calibration is to notice and match someone’s breathing and posture, which can reflect their emotional state, energy level, and degree of engagement. For example, when someone breathes deeply and slowly, they are likely to be calm, relaxed, and focused. When they breathe shallowly and rapidly, they are likely to be tense, nervous, or excited. When they lean forward, they are likely to be interested, curious, or eager. When they lean back, they are likely to be bored, indifferent, or defensive. To calibrate to someone’s breathing and posture, you can adopt a similar breathing pattern and body position as they do, as well as use words and gestures that convey the same emotion and attitude.
Personal Illustration: Noticing and recognising energy states is a brilliant way of using calibration. I often ask at the beginning of any coaching and/or mentoring session ‘How are you arriving today?’ and when they are leaving I might say, ‘What do you notice about your energy as you leave our session?’ These are direct questions but are direct with an intention. I am encouraging the Client to build their understanding and awareness around their energy and their presencing.
How to practice sensory calibration?
Sensory calibration is a skill that can be honed with practice and feedback. To sharpen your sensory calibration abilities, you can watch a video of someone talking and pause it at different moments to guess their sensory mode, eye movement, breathing, and posture. Then, you can have a conversation with someone and match their non-verbal cues without being obvious or awkward. Additionally, you can record yourself talking and analyze your own sensory mode, eye movement, breathing, and posture. Through these exercises, you can learn how to read and match the non-verbal cues of others in order to establish rapport and trust more easily. Moreover, you can communicate and influence more persuasively and positively. Sensory calibration is a powerful tool for enhancing your coaching and mentoring skills – try it out and see the difference it makes in your practice.
Personal Illustration: Be kind to yourself. This takes time, patience and attention. Look to build your noticing muscle step by step. TV/Films/Videos are also great ways of strengthening your noticing. When is the actor in role and when are they momentarily out of role? In groups what do you notice about your colleagues? And if you were to match their energy – what would that energy look/feel/sound like? So many great ways to practice this – give yourself permission to have some fun here.
Final thoughts
Sensory calibration has served me well in my coaching and my mentoring. It is one of the parts to my offering I really enjoy as it seems to bring greater awareness to my Clients. They develop the tools to notice so much more about themselves and develop greater ability to self-regulate as well as co-regulate. Start small and remember to manage your ego. It is not about getting the noticing ‘right’ – it is about noticing and offering with a light touch. Your Client is the one that will say whether the noticing fits or not – and either way is fine.
Pheona Croom-Johnson is Co-Founder and Academic Director of Sandown Business School. She has over 35 years experience within the Organisational Development field with a focus on leadership, coaching and supervision education. She is a Master NLP Coach, triple credentialed Master Coach (ICF, EMCC and AC) and credentialed Supervisor (AC). She is also trained in Gestalt, TA and other psychological methodologies.
Ready to make a change and want to chat through what that next step could look like? Want to work with a Master Coach? Get in touch with Pheona and find out more. Here is Pheona’s calendly link.